kathryne goes to france

laissez-moi tranquille!
26 March 2007, 5:25 am
Filed under: europe, exchange student, france, french culture, study abroad

Q: What is wrong with French guys?

Ex: Robert. First of all, you should know that I’m notorious for breaking/losing/dropping cel phones in toilets, etc. I’ve gone a good four months or so without damaging a cel phone, but much to my dismay, my ghetto pay-by-the-minute French phone disappeared while I was in Paris on Friday night. Lauren called my number the next day while I listened for it in the hotel room. Someone answered, but it wasn’t me—it was a sleepy middle-aged Robearrrr, who insisted that he had found my phone on the street the night before. Maybe it fell out of my pocket, maybe he swiped it from me, I don’t know. In a thick French accent, he told Lauren that she sounded cute and asked what her name was. He said he could maybe bring it back Sunday night, which is after my train took off for Bordeaux, but then asked “what was in it for him.” She sternly told him that that was unacceptable and demanded that he bring it back now. “Oooh Kah-thr-eeen, parlez à moi en français. Je voudrais faire ta connaissance.” No matter how loudly she yelled, he kept trying to flirt with her. The conversation ended with, “Don’t worry, Kah-thr-eeen, I won’t hit you.” Robearrrr, I want nothing to do with you. Keep the damn phone, you creep.

Ex: Baldy. The forty-year-old French man who stopped Lauren and I while we were walking back to the hotel on Friday night. He asked the standard questions, like where are you from, how long are you here, do you speak French, blah blah. I kept trying to pull us away from the conversation but the man kept talking in broken English about his friend from Texas who has a ranch and wears cowboy hats. Then the guy pointed over to the apartment building we were standing near, and kept saying, “Chez moi, chez moi.” I quickly realized that this forty-something year old man wanted us, two American college-aged girls, to go up to his apartment with him and do who knows what. No way José. I seized the moment and grabbed Lauren and we walked off as fast as we could, arm in arm, far away from the creepy old guy and his creepy abode. Adios, balding Parisian man.

Ex: Monsieur Fromage. Today I was grabbing ingredients to make dinner from the grocery sacks that hang outside of my dorm room window (the cold weather keeps my perishable items semi-fresh), and somehow my bag of cheese fell out of the grocery sack. I laughed as my sad bag of cheese tumbled three stories down and landed on the grass. Then I noticed that a guy had seen it fall, and I pointed to it, hoping that he would try to toss it back up to me. You see, any normal American college guy would have thought it funny that I dropped my cheese and probably would have amused himself by trying to throw the cheese up to my window or at least would have brought it into the building and graciously handed it to me before going on his merry way.

But no, not this guy. He picked up my emmental cheese and said that he was going to bring it to me. Not wanting to inconvenience him, I ran downstairs to meet him in the lobby, thanked him, and returned to my dorm room. A few minutes later, I look over and the guy’s standing in my doorway. Stupid me hadn’t shut the door. I started walking toward my door to talk to him, but before I could get to there, he had already taken a few steps into my room. Please note that I did not invite this stranger into my room. He told me his name, told me he was from Senegal or something like that, and asked what my name was/where I was from/blah. I answered curtly, but he stuck around. I said I needed to go meet my friends for dinner, but he was very insistent on “faire” my “connaissance.” I finally got him out of my room only after he said he’d come back to my room later to talk. But there will be no rendez-vous, Monsieur Fromage. I will be screening the knocks on my door for the next week just to make sure you don’t enter my room ever again.

Seriously, am I supposed to treat this guy like he’s my knight in shining armor because he rescued some cheese?


1 Comment so far
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Je pense que votre blog est merveilleux, continuent svp à s’ajouter à lui. La prochaine fois que cela vous voient le fluage du Sénégal svp lui indiquer pour maintenir dans l’esprit que vous êtes très un spécial à moi et qu’il devrait vous laisser seul. Lui dire également que j’étais tout à fait heureux en prison et ne m’occupe pas de retourner là après que j’aie affaire avec lui s’il ne cesse pas et ne renonce pas.

Comment by Pepere

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